We are under assault.
Research presented at a meeting of the Pediatric Academic Societies this month warns of a grave threat to America’s children: Grandma and Grandpa. The study suggests older people are so hopelessly out of date on child-rearing recommendations that they may put their beloved grandchildren at risk.
Apparently, because we have not been ‘trained’ adequately, our children are being warned against allowing us to help with the grandchildren. Despite having been parents already, or perhaps because we were parents so long ago, we are out of date and cannot be trusted with the grand kinder.
[I wrote about this a few years ago: Are Grandparents (Becoming) Obsolete? In that Mar. 3, 2013 post I brought to your attention that we no longer were the ‘go to’ source for answering questions from our grandchildren. We had been replaced by Google. And that may even be out of date if your grandkid has Alexa to answer all of his/her questions.]
Now, in an attempt to stay up to date myself about politics and other issues and not just remain in my ideological bubble, I’ve expanded my morning reading of newspapers and other articles to include, among other sources, The Wall Street Journal and even The Drudge Report.
Imagine my horror when I saw this article this morning in the WSJ.
Sorry Gramps, You’re No Expert by Lenore Skenazy, Wall Street Journal, 5/17/17. (The subtitle of the article: “Are the people who raised you qualified to take care of your child?”)
Apparently we are not to be trusted because we don’t know all of the latest ‘research’ and ‘child expert advice’ that our own children are getting about raising their kids.
Harumph.
Ellen, let’s cancel those six upcoming dates to help out with the three grandchildren in Bethesda and the three scheduled trips to Kansas City in the next couple of months to help out with the grandchild there (and the one that is schedule to come in mid-August). After all, we wouldn’t want to put them at risk.
Maybe we can get back to traveling more frequently.
PS – I told you it wasn’t a good idea to slow down on our traveling. Now I have research to back me up. Let’s put South Africa, New Zealand, and the Arctic back on our schedule. Do you want to call the travel agent or should I?
John Conn said:
Enjoyed your thoughts in this article! Now I can claim to be a member of the “over-the-hill GP gang! I love it! I think when Barbara and I go to the Philly area next week to take care of my two grandchildren for 4 days both boys…one is 16 and the other is 13…I may get a “T” printed that says… “Your out-of-date Papa and Nana have arrived…what’s new duds?”
Be well Richard and keep on writing!!!
John
Ellen Miller said:
Here here!
Samantha's mom said:
Pretty sure the only thing I have to worry about when Nona and Grandpapa babysit is that an occasional iPad, laptop, magazine article etc. will be left behind, and I’ll have to stop at the post office to have it shipped back to DC. Which honestly would be fixed if you just moved to Kansas City. So, I ask you, whose fault is that?
Samantha's Dad said:
What are you doing!?
Richard, stay in DC.
Richard said:
Nothing to worry about relating to any move to KC.
Carrie said:
Clearly we should rebel. Obviously our grandchildren like us better then their parents.
We get to love and spoil them instead of raising them.
Ellen Kessler said:
Notwithstanding the authority of the article you quoted, I really think that so much of your being considered as having expertise depends on your children. If the children feel you did a good job with them, they may ignore the fact that you need a 6 year old grandchild to straighten out your phone or computer and concentrate , instead, on your good points. (I have only daughters, so perhaps that is because girls can be closer to their mother.)
I do recall that my older daughter was almost harsh with me when I sent her 16 year old daughter/my first grandchild, Shelby, a gift and she texted me a thank you. I immediately called Shelby and said that I wish she had called me instead because I love to hear her voice. (Sounds pretty benign, don’t you think?)
My daughter didn’t think so. She told me that I should have been delighted that Shelby thanked me without her mother’s knowledge and that I must learn how children live now. I was chastised and now text like an expert!
samuel clover jr said:
good morning rick,well I think we should have a morning group for grandparents only….smiling…mr sam…too funny